Get us in your inbox

Search
Photograph: Shutterstock

15 ways New York will always make you late

Will Gleason
Written by
Will Gleason
Advertising

We’ve all had one of those mornings. When we’ve slept through our alarm, couldn’t find anything to wear and completely lost track of time while watching the Today Show’s coverage of some random celebrity sex scandal. Those are the days that anything that could go wrong, absolutely does. From slow subways to inattentive baristas, these are the things that always, constantly conspire to make you late in New York. Especially if you already are. 

1. If you’re running late in New York, your taxi will always get stuck in traffic.

2. If not, your driver will have no sense of direction or knowledge of NYC streets.

3. You will get stuck behind a phalanx of texting businessman as they slowly descend into the subway.

4. A giant crowd of bikers will almost run you over as you're about to cross the street. You will then have to wait for every single one of them to pass.

5. You will never, ever be able to find an open Citi Bike dock and end up having to bike an extra two miles.

6. Your coffee shop will absolutely be training a new hire on their first day.

7. And the person in front of you in line will decide to pay for their coffee in quarters.

8. Your train will either never come, be so crowded that you have to let three pass or stop underground for 20 minutes because of "train traffic ahead."

9. A street or avenue you have to cross will be shut down for a parade, a police investigation or most likely both.

10. Your MetroCard will be empty.

11. If you're on your way to a bar or event you'll forget your ID. They will NOT believe it's you.

12. Right when the train pulls into the station, the person in front of you will be told to "please swipe your MetroCard again." 20 times. You will miss the train.

13. Depending on the weather, most of your commute will be spent dodging snow banks, giant puddles or piles of garbage.

14. You will grossly overestimate how many tote bags, backpacks and laundry bags you can carry, forcing you to readjust every ten feet.

15. You'll decide to just give yourself a freebie, and take your goddamn time.

Popular on Time Out

    You may also like
    You may also like
    Advertising