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18 things that will happen to every New Yorker this winter

18 things that will happen to every New Yorker this winter
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/eventphotosnyc

Don’t get us wrong—the colder-months in NYC are awesome! Don’t believe us? Just take a look at our best things to do in winter list. But winter is just like summer: You either love it, or you hate it. And let’s face it, New Yorkers are a bit more sensitive to the harshness of Old Man Winter and his, er, charms than any other season. So in order to prepare you for what may or may not be a brutal, long and frigid winter, we’ve listed the 18 things that will most likely happen to every New Yorker this season.

RECOMMENDED: Full guide to things to do in the winter in NYC

1. Your skin will dry out like sand paper due to the uncontrollable heat in your apartment. 

2. You will get unexpectedly blasted by a wind vortex whenever you turn onto a corner downtown.

3. There will be dried up pools of salt inside your front door to match the super-sexy salt stains on your shoes.

4. Your mascara will run down your face every morning while you and your teary eyes briskly jaunt towards the subway.

5. You will switch your go-to gin and tonic for warm drinks like mulled wine and hot buttered rum—not because they’re delicious, but because your hands are cold.

6. Remember when you emptied that mystery liquid out of your air conditioner over the summer? Well now you get to empty a bowl of mystery radiator liquid instead! (Woo.)

7. You will overuse the, “But it might snow tonight,” excuse to cancel plans constantly.

8. You will only order takeout from the shitty pizza place next to your apartment because it’s just too damn cold to venture out for anything better. 

9. You will suddenly be tapping 20% on your Seamless tips.

10. Once you recover from a two-week mega-cold, you’ll take a sip of your friend’s cocktail only to hear, “Oh, be careful, I’m a little sick,” and you’ll immediately feel the sniffles coming back.

11. You will plan a trip to the Caribbean to get away from the blustering cold only to have your flight get cancelled due to “inclement weather.”

12. You will jumpstart your plan to move to Los Angeles (nah, for real this time.) That is, of course, until April rolls around, and New York starts acting like the big flirt it is.

13. You will immediately regret wearing three layers of clothing the second you step onto a packed, sweltering hot train.

14. You’ll be in a constant internal struggle about whether to hold the subway pole with or without your gloves on.

15. Your frustrations with the MTA will reach an all time high, as the trains are slower, smellier and sopping wet when it snows.

16. No matter how hard you try, you’ll still end up knee-deep in a nasty AF slush puddle.

17. You’ll lose precious sleep over that god-awful ticking/clacking noise coming from your radiator.

18. You will unexpectedly enjoy an impromptu ice-skating session once you stumble upon a patch of black ice whilst walking up Sixth Avenue.

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