It takes a tough skin to cope with the stress and loneliness this city can cause, but luckily, us New Yorkers have our pride to act as a shield. Everyone knows we have some of the best fashion, music and comedy in the world, but it's really the weird little things that make Gothamites feel smug.
1. Large swatches of our adult population has no clue how to drive.
2. We don't know how to cook.
3. Our iron noses: We can withstand smells nobody in suburbia can fathom.
4. The number of nicknames there are for New York: The Big Apple, The City the Never Sleeps, Gotham, The Capital of the World, The Melting Pot, etc.
5. The city’s scuzzy reputation in the '70s, even if we didn't live it.
6. The fact that so many violent gangster movies take place here.
7. Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.
8. Speaking of wieners: The Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant. (VERY NSFW photos)
9. Knowing exactly where to stand on the subway platform to enter and exit efficiently.
10. Our reputation for having surly attitudes.
11. Our personal victories over bedbug infestations.
12. We don't know how to do laundry.
13. But we do know how to organize a 50-square-foot apartment.
14. Our over-the-top eccentrics. Like Disco Sally (Sally Lippman), the fabulous septuagenarian who discoed at Studio 54 with her 20-something boyfriend.
Or Moondog, the Viking-helmet-wearing blind composer and poet who spent 30 years on Sixth Avenue:
And, begrudgingly, this dude:
15. We can quickly weave through crowded streets.
16. We don't know anyone in their 20s who is married.
17. Our bodega owners refer to us by our preferred beer or brand of cigarettes.
18. The massive size of our rats.
19. Knowing that if any of the above list scares you or weirds you out then we're going to last in this great, big, beautiful cesspool longer than you.