Aasif Mandiv's No Land's Man Book Launch; Alcon Gallery, East Village, 7pm. free.
Join the Daily Show correspondent for a reading, signing and performance by indie-rock band Goldspot.
Xavier Le Roy; MoMA PS1, Long Island City, 12pm. $10.
Over two months, performers will continually present and transform Le Roy's often-gestural solos, targeting the audience's perception of time.
The Moth StorySLAM; The Bell House, Gowanus, 7:30pm. 8pm
The outrageously popular spontaneous storytelling series pits local raconteurs against one another, challenging them to come up with an impressive tale based on a specific theme—tonight's is "accident."
If it Only Runs a Minute 13; 54 Below, Midtown West, 9:30pm. $25–$35
A raft of talented Broadway folks—including Jenn Gambatese, Van Hughes and Harrison Chad—perform songs from flop shows in the latest edition of a series treasured by musical-theater obsessives.
Five Boroughs Food Talk: Jewish Food; Symphony Space, Upper West Side, 7:30pm. $15
Part of a series hosted by food writer Gabriella Gershenson (Every Day with Rachael Ray), this Jewish-food chat discusses the bagels, borscht, and matzo-ball soup of your or bubbe's youth (and their current incarnations).
"El Greco in New York" vs "El Greco at The Frick Collection"; The Metropolitan Museum of Art + The Frick Collection
Observing the 400th Anniversary of the Old Master's death, the Met and the Frick are bringing out their respective holdings of his work for these concurrent exhibitions. The Hispanic Society of America is joining in by loaning its six El Greco masterpieces for The Met's show.
BABYMETAL; Hammerstein Ballroom (at the Manhattan Center), Hell's Kitchen, 7pm. $50
Over-the-top spectacle is part of metal's DNA, but when it comes to pure batshit bombast, BABYMETAL might just have everyone from Alice Cooper to Iron Maiden beat. This Japanese import's NYC debut ought to fulfill your yearly WTF quota and then some.
Mallory Ortberg: Texts from Jane Eyre; Housing Works Bookstore Cafe, Soho, 7pm. free.
Ortberg brings that same distinctive voice from her witty website The Toast to her first book, a hilarious imagining based on a simple premise: What if literary characters texted?
Unitard: House of Tards; The Stonewall Inn, West Village, 8pm. $15 plus two-drink minimum.
This is your last chance to catch Mike Albo, Nora Burns and David Ilku's caustically hilarious sketch show.
Time Out New York Women of Comedy 2014; Le Poisson Rouge, Greenwich Village, 7pm and 9:30pm. $25.
Time Out New York brings together some of the country’s top female comics at our Women of Comedy 2014 show at the New York Comedy Festival. Sara Schaefer, Sasheer Zamata, Aparna Nancherla and many more will make you laugh till you cry, pee yourself or both.
"Infidelity: The Truth About Love, Lust & Loyalty"; French Institute Alliance Française, Florence Gould Hall, 7pm. $20–$25
As part of "The Art of Sex & Seduction" series, Dan Savage raises the question: Why do we cheat? Why???
"Masterpieces from the Scottish National Gallery"; The Frick Collection, Upper East Side, various times. $20.
Masterpieces by Botticelli, Vélasquez, Watteau, Constable and Sargent travel from Edinburgh to the Upper East Side in this tour of painting treasures on loan from one of the world's most prestigious art institutions.
Selected Shorts: Women in Clothes; Symphony Space, Upper West Side, 7:30pm. $29, $15 for 30 and under.
Editors Sheila Heti, Heidi Julavits and Leanne Shapton celebrate their one-of-a-kind book: an assemblage of interviews, photographs, essays and more that explore how women relate to what they wear.
Topshop; 608 Fifth Ave at 49th St
Expect a range of trendy offerings plus exclusive items sold at this outpost only when the new Topshop opens on Fifth Avenue. FYI: This will be the British brand’s biggest outpost in the U.S.
DISH; Housing Works Bookstore Cafe, Soho, 7pm. $5 suggested donation.
With DISH, foodies get a feast of gastronomically inclined performances: Chefs, food bloggers, restaurateurs and other writers share personal tales or pieces of prose.
Stevie Wonder; Madison Square Garden, Midtown West. 8pm. sold out.
Stevie Wonder. Songs in the Key of Life. Madison Square Garden. Yeah, it's actually happening. Elder statesman of pop Wonder isn't usually the type to dwell on past glories, but hey, this time he is.
Exposed: Songs For Unseen Warhol Films; Peter Jay Sharp Building & BAM Howard Gilman Opera House, Fort Greene, 7:30pm. $25–$65
This combination of cinema and music matches 15 never-before-seen clips from Andy Warhol's film archive with live performances by Bradford Cox, Eleanor Friedberger, Tom Verlaine and others.
Nate Bargatze; Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, Chelsea, 10:30pm. $15
If the rest of the New York Comedy Festival’s dirty jokes have left you feeling a little grubby, bathe in the reviving waters of Nate Bargatze’s smart, mostly clean, profanity-free set. Then go get dirty all over again.
This is Not Happening; Village Underground, West Village, 8pm. $20 plus two-item minimum.
Ari Shaffir’s legendary storytelling show, This Is Not Happening, comes back to NYC, featuring two guests guaranteed to turn the air blue for miles around: filth maestro Jim Norton and alt-cabaret behemoth Bridget Everett. You have been warned.
Women of Letters; Joe’s Pub at the Public Theater, Greenwich Village, 7pm. $25.
The phenomenal Australian literary salon kicks off its New York offshoot, featuring original epistles written and read by Siri Hustvedt, Michelle Orange, Sasheer Zamata and more brilliant women.