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A 'Napoleon Dynamite'–themed restaurant could drop on the LES

By Rheanna O'Neil Bellomo
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The era of Napoleon is upon us. Currently vying for a subterranean spot on Essex Street, a potential new Mexican restaurant will pay homage to the kitschy, dry-humored film, Napoleon Dynamite. While details are scarce, we know that the Lower East Side eatery will be called Vote for Pedro and offer 16 seats, four TVs and eats until 4am. While we wait for confirmation on the opening and the full menu, we've come up with what we think should be on the docket—based on all the cult favorite's best food-on-film moments, of course: 

• Tator tots. In two sizes: one that fits in your pocket and the jumbo, for when you're frickin' starving and haven't eaten anything all day
• Dang quesadillas, doused in red-hot salsa as sassy as Napoleon's grandma
• The farm dinner platter, including an egg-salad sandwich, eggnog smoothie and hard-boiled eggs on the side.
• Tether-ball meatballs. Attached to a skewer, obviously.
• Tortilla-chip crumbs—because Kip ate them all while chatting online with babes.
• Cafeteria corn dogs.
• A steak seared in the shape of Napolean's face. 
• Free red gatorade, but only after you show off your sweet dance moves to La Fawnduh
• Whole and 1% milks, because sometimes you feel fab and other times you feel fat. 
• Tina's tuna casserole. The llama won't eat it, but that just means more for you.

Vote for Pedro, 17 Essex Street between Canal and Hester Sts (no phone yet)

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