The third season of Orange is the New Black will be available on Netflix tomorrow, meaning we’ll finally be able to catch up on all the vicious fights, hot hook-ups and scheming backstabbing going on between the inmates of Litchfield Penitentiary (yay!) Even though your immediate inclination may be to fire up the Apple TV, order some delivery and not leave the couch for 12 hours, this is the kind of show that’s best watched with a group of friends. (You know, the type that would carry a suitcase of drug money across state borders for you.)
So invite your whole cellblock over tomorrow night and pick up some of these NYC goodies before the first few notes of that Regina Spektor song start to play. Pretty soon, you’ll be having the best party since Season Two’s big Valentine’s Day bash.
Red’s Respectful Russian Pierogis HBIC inmate Red is well known for her Russian and Eastern European cooking on the show. As an appetizer, order in some delicious pierogis from a NYC restaurant like Veselka, Odessa or Russian Samovar. If anyone criticizes your party, don’t give them one.
Funeral Furlough Burgers As an alternate appetizer or a small plate option, live large like sad, drunk Piper on that bridge and get some burgers to go from Shake Shack. Tell everyone they’re not allowed to drink during this course, then drink an entire bottle of wine by yourself.
“The Chickening” chicken For an entire episode in Season One, Piper was convinced she saw a chicken in the prison yard and everyone thought she was hallucinating. Either order a bucket of fried chicken from Root & Bone or just say that there's one on the counter and act surprised when everyone says they can’t see it.
“I shared my pie with you” pie Pie, both eaten and thrown, is a reoccurring motif on Orange is the New Black. Order a seasonal fruit pie from Butter & Scotch for the group. Pick the friend you like the least, and throw a piece at the back of their head.
Blood Donuts Healy is able to win over the entire WAC in Season One with a single box of well-placed donuts. Bring out a box from one New York’s best donut shops towards the end of the night and see what you can convince each one of your friends to do to get one.
Sinful Scented Soap As a group, decide which one of you would be most likely to sleep with your boyfriend if you were thrown in jail. As a prize give them a lovely scented soap from Diptyque because they’re totally the Polly of your group.
Neptune’s Produce Surprise Smuggle a piece of contraband (aka candy) in a bowl of fresh produce, just like Red uses Litchfield's produce supplier to sneak things into the prison. Whoever finds it, gets to go into the closet, eat it and hopefully not die.