Hannah Horvath is writing for the New York Times. Seriously. In the paper’s Modern Love column, Lena Dunham’s Hannah airs out the dirty relationship laundry between her ex-boyfriend Adam (Adam Driver) and her former best friend Jessa (Jemima Kirke), a personal essay that not only gets read by all of the key players in her life (Marnie reads it on the toilet, FYI), but also nabs Hannah a writing gig at SlagMag and an assignment to cover a women’s surf club out on Montauk.
And so begins “All I Ever Wanted,” the opener of the sixth and final season of HBO’s think-piece–inducing Girls. And while it might not have been everything we’ve ever wanted—more Elijah forever, thanks—it was a solid catch-up session with our not-so-fab four and the colorful characters that pepper their world. Let’s see what they’re all up to, shall we?
Marnie: Carrying over from last season’s finale, Marnie (Alison Williams) is in the midst of a divorce from her folk-playing, analingus-giving husband Desi, whilst also having unsatisfying sex with on-again-off-again love interest Ray. In between stomach-churning bouts of calling each other “baby,” Marnie asks Ray—who, despite technically living with Adam, has been crashing at her place for months—to move out per her online therapist’s recommendations.
Jessa: Unlike Adam, Jessa doesn’t read Hannah’s Times piece, but she does lounge around his apartment buck-naked and eating yogurt—and now you know why Ray has been hiding out at Marnie’s.
Shoshanna: Shosh (Zosia Mamet) takes in homeless Ray and they have a very domestically peaceful coexistence, making each other coffee and remembering the other’s gluten-free status—much to Marnie’s annoyance. (Cue Marnie jumping back into bed with Desi. Yawn.)
And back to Hannah: The Montauk surf club is as bougie as you’d expect and our heroine’s surfing abilities, equally so. During a lesson taught by Paul-Louis (The Night Of’s Riz Ahmed)—joining the likes of Booth Jonathan and Mimi-Rose in Girls' Double Name Club—Hannah pretends to injure her “front arm” to get out of class early, instead spending the rest of her day hitting the pool and sun-tanning her lady biscuit.
Hannah does run into Paul-Louis later that evening, though, which leads to drinking, dancing, rapping (on his part—beyond acting, Riz Ahmed is a member of the Swet Shop Boys hip hop group) and, naturally, sexing in a bunk bed, complete with surf slang. (There’s even a “cowabunga” at one point.)
The next morning, Hannah is chilly to her one-night stand but quickly warms up to his faux-philosophical surfer charms. They spend the day out on the beaches of Montauk, talking about “vibes” and rolling around in the sand like a coarse remake of From Here to Eternity.
But then Paul-Louis drops word that he’s in an open relationship with a hula dancer and Hannah is upset—until she isn't. Sitting misty-eyed and happy in the arms of Paul-Louis later during a group bonfire that night, it seems that, along with some good ol’ ocean spray, our neurotic little Hannah Horvath has breathed in some much-needed, laidback optimism.
“I give zero fucks about anything, yet have a strong opinion about everything.”–Hannah
“We needed to clear space, for sex reasons.”–Adam
“I wanted to ask you, personally, if I could use your room while you’re away?”–Elijah
“Just a teeny, tiny little orgy.”–Elijah