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Hoverboards, toys for adult jerks, are now banned by the MTA

By
Jillian Anthony
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Are you one of those adult jerks riding hoverboards around New York City, people constantly pointing at you then saying to their friends, "Hey there is a real douchebag, huh?", risking your life to ride a piece of machinery that doesn't hover and may randomly combust at any time?

If so, you should know you're not allowed to ride or even bring your hoverboard with you onto any MTA transit systems anymore. The MTA will be running ads with the headline "Hoverboards Not Allowed" because of a risk of fire, the New York Times reports. That's good news for the rest of New York as we don't want to deal with you saving a few seconds in the packed subway terminal by zooming along and running into us, and we certainly don't want our fair city to turn into Los Angeles, where you can't turn a corner anywhere at LAX or downtown without seeing someone riding a hoverboard, lookin' a fool. The police say hoverboards are already banned in the city, so just put them away or take them to the suburbs where they belong, please. Enjoy the rest of your winter safely, and stay lazy (but not by riding things that impede sidewalk traffic).

Do you want to be like Justin Bieber? DO YOU?!?

 

@Phunkeeduck

A video posted by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on

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