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News flash: dating in NYC is hard, especially for women

Written by
Dana Varinsky

Look, nobody is pretending dating in NYC is easy (just read our Undateables column for proof that it's tough to be single). So after 11,000 Time Out readers worldwide took a survey about dating, we weren’t shocked to find out that NYC respondents were the least happy to be alone. Just under 45 percent of New Yorkers who aren’t in committed relationships reported they were sad to be single—that’s the highest percentage of the 12 cities surveyed. Interestingly enough, though, New Yorkers seem to agree about this. Contrary to popular belief, men aren’t any happier to be unattached than women.

But though everyone here seems equally dissatisfied with their single lives, women still find NYC a less hospitable dating environment than men. Here’s the breakdown:

How tough is it to date here?
61.3 percent of women consider dating in NYC a challenge, compared to 50.8 percent of men. 35.2 percent of men find it easy, where as 19.3 percent of women do. On a scale from one to ten (ten being a dating paradise), women give New York City a 5.9, where as men give it a 6.9.

Who has it easiest?
Most men surveyed (33.3 percent) said no gender or sexual orientation has a dating advantage here (though their responses to the question above seem to prove them wrong). Male respondents even ventured so far as to suggest heterosexual women have it slightly easier than men seeking women. Rolling your eyes out there, lades? Women gave a very different response—55.8 percent say heterosexual men have the easiest dating lives, while 21.9 percent say nobody has an advantage.

After how many dates is it reasonable to suggest sex?
Unsurprisingly, women in New York prefer to wait longer before hopping into bed. On average, they say 4.6 dates is the right amount of time, whereas men think it should come up after 2.6 dates. The global average falls in between the two, at 3.5.

How dateable are the people you go out with?
New Yorkers agree on this count: On a dateability scale from 1 to 10, men and women alike give their average date a 6.5. Daters across the world seem to be on the same page, since New Yorkers’ responses match the global average.

And how do we stack up to other cities?
According to the results, New Yorkers actually enjoy dating online more than their global counterparts. In every other location, respondents reported that their most enjoyable encounters were with friends of friends. NYC respondents, however, said they had the most fun with people they met online. Overall, Parisians say they have the easiest time dating, and L.A. residents consider themselves the most attractive. The world’s favorite foreign accent is British (move over, France), and no matter what country you live in, most people decide within two to three minutes of a date whether they’d like a second one. Turns out judgment is universal. 

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