Hey, girl—is the movie really that bad? Yesterday brought disappointing news for Ryan Gosling: Warner Bros. announced that his directorial debut, Lost River, won't be released in theaters. It's going straight to VOD in April. We saw the movie at its Cannes world premiere; our critic, Keith Uhlich, confirmed a disaster of rare proportions. Below are excerpts from his review, along with some sad Ryan Gosling GIFs that paint the fuller picture.
"It goes off the rails early and often. You almost have to give it props for how resolutely batshit it is. Almost."
"The film certainly announces itself in every scene, like a carnival barker projecting right beside your ear canal."
"Unfortunately, Gosling is more interested in the cool factor of watching Ben Mendelsohn pimp-dance his way toward a cowering Christina Hendricks than he is in the film’s grad-school-ready themes."
"Cinematographer Benoît Debie…has truly outdone himself. Yet visual dexterity will get only get you so far."
"Lost River is itself a peep show—a chimeric stroke job that leaves you utterly unfulfilled."