Halloween is upon us, New York. The city is gearing up to get even stranger than usual as folks across town don their funkiest duds in an effort to celebrate the weird, witchy holiday. You'll almost certainly see plenty of people dressed as cats and skeletons at parties across town, but we're here to help you take your costume to the next level. With that in mind, here are seven costume ideas that are perfect for New Yorkers this year.
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1. Chris Christie on the beach: A budget stalemate left New Jersey's beaches closed over Fourth of July weekend this past summer, but that didn't stop New Jersey Governor Chris Christie from soaking up some rays with his family along the coast. Commemorating this selfish move through costume doesn't require much more than a pair of shorts, a T-shirt, a hat, a lawn chair and a general contempt for the well-being of your constituents.
2. Aaron Judge: This costume might be a little inside baseball for most of the country (get it?), but it's perfect for New Yorkers. Fresh off a devastating collapse in the ALCS, this costume could not be more timely. Recycle your old graduation robe, slap on your favorite Yankees cap and prepare to get drunk enough to forget the fact that the Bronx Bombers blew their World Series run.
3. The old Kosciuszko Bridge: This piece of New York City infrastructure might be gone but its spirit certainly isn't forgotten. You don't even need an outfit to make this “costume” work. Simply go to your party, stand between two friend (one from Brooklyn, one from Queens) and drop to the ground. People will get it, we swear.
4. The Fearless Girl walking a peeing dog: The Fearless Girl statue was unveiled next to the iconic Charging Bull on Wall Street just in time for International Women's Day last March. Two months later, New York–based artist Alex Gardega temporarily installed a statue of a urinating dog next to the girl, drawing a lot of controversy in the process. Combine both of these cultural events into one costume this year and you'll be the wittiest person at your party.
5. James Murphy: New York's beloved LCD Soundsystem returned from hiatus with a new album earlier this year, seven years after the group's front man (James Murphy) said they were calling it quits for good. To successfully pull off this outfit, bring a disco ball and a plain white T-shirt. Then leave the party early, telling everyone you’re turning in for the night only to return several hours later confused as to why everyone is upset with you.
6. The F train: This costume is incredibly simple. In an effort to best imitate one of the city's least reliable subway lines, don't show up to your party at all. When your friends ask you where you were, simply say you were “delayed due to train traffic ahead” and you’re “sorry for the inconvenience.”
7. The rabid Prospect Park squirrel: When a squirrel goes on a human-biting rampage in Prospect Park, memes are sure to follow. And where there are memes, there are Halloween costume ideas. Dressing up like this squirrel ought to be simple—imitating its rabid taste for blood will be the tricky part.