As a Brooklynite, I’m often met with the most incredible excuses from those of you who live in Manhattan as to why you can’t hang out with me in my borough. Here are some totally legitimate excuses for you not to come to me, despite me journeying to you on a regular basis.
1. You just broke your foot: Totally understandable—it must be hard to move! You stay put and rest up and we can go dancing at C’mon Everybody when you’ve recovered.
2. You don’t know how to tell time: Got it—numbers are confusing. Keep working on your skills, though, so you can learn it doesn’t take as long to get to Fort Greene as you think.
3. You thought I was talking about the movie Brooklyn: Oh, you’ve already seen Saoirse Ronan’s masterful performance and would rather watch something else? No problem. Come here and we can watch another film. Maybe at Nitehawk?
4.You thought I was talking about the musical Brooklyn: Girl, that closed 12 years ago! (and was playing in midtown)
5. You lost your monthly unlimited Metrocard: Been there—it's the WORST. Let me know when you get a new one so I can figure out which of Brooklyn’s many free outdoor music concerts are going on then. I'd love to take you.
6. You just left for vacation: I thought I saw something on Facebook, but didn’t realize you were leaving today. No problem, I can show you around Brooklyn’s hoppin’ art scene some other time.
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