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We may be snobby about living in the greatest city on Earth, but that doesn't mean we New Yorkers don't still end up crying waiting for the G train. Nothing turns the city of dreams into a waking nightmare faster than some simple phrases. No matter how much you cover your ears, somehow these words will find you and ruin your day.
1. "What time is it? Show Time!"
Some of these breakdancing kids are super talented—we sure can't jump around on one hand to music or, for that matter, talk in unison for more than two words. We'll cheer them on at the park or on an empty subway car any day, but on a stuffed A train if one of them swirls around the pole and lands their foot in your mouth? Hell. No.
2. "Do you have a moment to talk about the environment/women's reproductive rights/animals/your hair?"
Not today, clip board person! Sure, you're just doing your job—convincing people to give money to good causes or to buy salon services—but you're standing in the way of our bottomless mimosa brunch and forgetting the world's problems.
3. "Due to a sick passenger, trains are running with delays"
If you hear this during your AM commute you might as well go home and tell your boss you won't be making it in till early afternoon. Again. Also, according to this Business Insider article, "sick" is usually code for "dead." Good Morning, New York!
4. "Located in Times Square"
There is nothing worse than when something you want to go, or have to go, to is the single place you wish to avoid at all costs. Leave extra travel time to navigate your way through the turbulent, murky sea of confused tourists and handsy Elmos.
5. "This place nobody knows about..."
You know about it, so somebody must. The simple fact that this place is trying to have a "secret" or "underground" thing going for it means there's more likely to be a line or wait list to get in, and you better believe we want in too.