Worldwide icon-chevron-right North America icon-chevron-right United States icon-chevron-right New York State icon-chevron-right New York icon-chevron-right Best comedy 2013: Our favorite #borobash jokes about the five boroughs

Best comedy 2013: Our favorite #borobash jokes about the five boroughs

Our #borobash Twitter contest asks up-and-coming comics to create the best comedy jokes about New York City that they can. Here are the results:

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1/26
Best jokes about the BronxNew York City is thinking of changing the Bronx’s name to The Wire 3-D. —@TakeTheConrad
2/26
Best jokes about the BronxThe Bronx: Where the Son of Sam is considered “a dog person.” —@BrooklynRon
3/26
Best jokes about the BronxIn the Bronx, “snitches get stitches” is a health-care plan. —@BrooklynRon
4/26
Best jokes about the BronxThe ATMs in the Bronx dispense pennies. —@TakeTheConrad
5/26
WINNER: Best joke about the BronxWinner (a.k.a. the Bronx Bombardier): The Bronx: Where everyone knows your name (because it’s written on your necklace, your earrings and your lower back) —@alyssawolff
6/26
Best jokes about QueensQueens: Even our street gangs are boring. —@TakeTheConrad
7/26
Best jokes about Queens Queens: If you can make it here, you probably failed somewhere in your life. —@prejectedjokes
 (Photograph: Wikimedia Commons user 'TwoWings')
8/26
Photograph: Wikimedia Commons user 'TwoWings'Best jokes about QueensQueens: A proverbial melting pot of people who hate other people in the pot for following different proverbs —@AndySandford
9/26
Best jokes about QueensQueens: The official borough of lying to your family about how well you’re doing since moving to New York —@AlisonLevering
10/26
WINNER: Best joke about QueensWinner (a.k.a. Killer Queens): Welcome to Queens. You probably fell asleep on the train. —@BrooklynRon
 (Photograph: Ludovic Bertron / Wikimedia Commons)
11/26
Photograph: Ludovic Bertron / Wikimedia CommonsBest jokes about Staten IslandIs Staten Island the worst part of New York City or the best part of New Jersey? —@BrooklynRon
 (Photograph: Simon Quinton / Wikimedia Commons)
12/26
Photograph: Simon Quinton / Wikimedia CommonsBest jokes about Staten IslandPeter Minuit bought Staten Island from the Lenape Indians in exchange for two tanning beds and tickets to WrestleMania. —@guybranum
 (Photograph: Wikimedia Commons user 'George Hernandez')
13/26
Photograph: Wikimedia Commons user 'George Hernandez'Best jokes about Staten IslandWhat can you write about Staten Island that hasn’t already been written in crayon by someone else? —@TakeTheConrad
 (Photograph: Wikimedia Commons user 'InSapphoWeTrust')
14/26
Photograph: Wikimedia Commons user 'InSapphoWeTrust'Best jokes about Staten IslandSpalding Gray jumped off the Staten Island Ferry when he found out where it was going. —@DanWilbur
 (Photograph: Frank Kovalchek / flickr)
15/26
Photograph: Frank Kovalchek / flickrWINNER: Best joke about Staten IslandWinner (a.k.a. the Staten Slammer): The Staten Island Zoo opened a reptile exhibit. It’s just caged girls who’ve spent too long in the tanning bed. —@AmberSmelson
16/26
Best jokes about ManhattanThere was a miracle on 34th Street: It only took my cab ten minutes to cross the intersection. —@JaxGotJokes
17/26
Best jokes about ManhattanManhattan: Home to Broadway entertainment and a woman in cloth shoes screaming on the 7 train. —@AmberSmelson
18/26
Best jokes about ManhattanManhattan: I just don’t feel comfortable spending less than $15 for a sandwich. —@DaleRadio
19/26
Best jokes about ManhattanManhattan: If you can make it there, your parents are probably paying your rent. —@StephenGardella
 (Photograph: Jonathan McIntosh / Wikimedia Commons)
20/26
Photograph: Jonathan McIntosh / Wikimedia CommonsWINNER: Best joke about ManhattanWinner (a.k.a. the Money-Makin’ Monster): You can’t afford to live there, but this crazy old guy blocking the sidewalk can. —@AndySandford
21/26
Best jokes about BrooklynBrooklyn gentrifying? Nah. Nothing says “I get this community” like a store that only sells mayonnaise. —@JaxGotJokes
22/26
Best jokes about BrooklynBrooklyn: A group of able-bodied postcollege kids more likely to correct your grammar than correct poverty in their neighborhood. —@DanWilbur
23/26
Best jokes about BrooklynDoes anyone live in Sheepshead Bay, or is that a dumping ground for last year’s unicycles? —@AmberSmelson
24/26
Best jokes about BrooklynNot every lesbian needs to own a bakery. #brooklyn —@guybranum
25/26
WINNER: Best joke about BrooklynWinner (a.k.a. Kicker of Kings): Good ol’ Brooklyn. Where half of the city is petrified of half of the city. —@NeilCharlesFTW
26/26
Honorable mentionHoboken: The one that doesn’t count. —@LazyBabyMama
This fall, we held our second weeklong Twitter contest, asking comedians and funny writers to tweet their best comedy about the five boroughs with the hashtag #borobash. Here are some of the best entries (and our five chosen winners), organized by borough:

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