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Santacon 2014
Photograph: Brett CarlsenNew Yorkers dressed as Santa parade through the streets of Manhattan during Santacon.

11 things New Yorkers do that are more toxic than the non-toxic gas being released in the subway this month

Ever been to Murray Hill? Dwell on that.

Melissa Kravitz Hoeffner
Written by
Melissa Kravitz Hoeffner

This week, the Department of Homeland Security let it be known that they're releasing nontoxic gas into the New York City subways to replicate a potential biological or chemical attack. Terrifying? Yes, and New Yorkers have plenty of thoughts on the subject. Toxic? Well, hopefully not! Still, knowing that unnatural particles are being released throughout our trusted transit system may feel like cause for alarm. But don't panic. There are way more typical New York City instances that are truly toxic to you as a New Yorker. Such as:

Blaming the MTA for being perpetually late to everything

Weird how "one stop away" always takes the same person at least thirty minutes…

Dating someone for their central A/C

Or just to use their apartment as a second closet. Not good.

Ordering delivery from the bodega next door

If you're physically able, go get your chips and sandwich yourself

Sprinting to make half-price happy hour at 6:59pm

Do you really deserve that well drink for $5? Tip generously, at the very least

Calling emerging neighborhoods by their real estate names

SoHa and SoBro are just not it.

Saying you grew up “here”

Which neighborhood? Oh, the suburbs… Thought so.

Bragging about “hidden gems” on TikTok

Shhh!! Stop! Please stop! Don’t blow up our spots.

Never leaving Manhattan

Acting like Brooklyn is a foreign planet? You’re in a toxic relationship with “the city” and also waving a bright red flag.

Eating at a national chain restaurant

You're in the greatest food city on the planet and you're consuming a taco with meat that was squirted out of a gun? Really? Really. 

Ordering everything you own from that big website with two-day shipping

Real New Yorkers shop local. 

Going out in Murray Hill

T-O-X-I-C. (Bonus points if it's S*ntacon.)

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