Lola Star’s Dreamland Roller Disco Lakeside at Prospect Park; 7:30pm; $18–$20
Bring forth your inner Ziggy Stardust at the David Bowie–themed edition of Lola Star’s infamous Friday-night skating party. It's the first of the season, so buying a ticket in advance is highly recommended (if you don't have your own wheels, be sure to arrive before 8:30pm, as rentals are limited). Paint on a lightning bolt, wiggle into a jumpsuit and go get your swerve on.
RECOMMENDED: Full guide to things to do in NYC this weekend
LUST: Late Night at various locations; 9pm; $40, VIP $65, VIP Dungeon $80
LUST—the decadent dinner party at which guests eat directly off nude models—presents this kinky meal-free speakeasy, at which guests witness a wild variety show featuring bondage, arousing acrobatics and pyrotechnics and plenty of participatory spanking, body art and more. VIP guests can opt in for access to the private dungeon and cuddle bus. Wear nice undies—you never know what trouble you're going to be getting into.
Orchid Evenings New York Botanical Garden; 6:30pm; $38
The Botanical Garden's stunning annual exhibition lights up for special weekend evenings in the spring. Indulge your senses with custom cocktails and yummy vittles while DJs and performers delight you under an arched facade of colorful orchids. You’re sure to find inner peace beside the verdant flowers.
No Limits Tattoo Expo Resorts World Casino New York City; various times; da pass $25, weekend pass $55
Get inked at this gathering of more than 250 artists from across the globe. On top of checking out all the insane work, you can also drop in on seminars like “From Cartoons to Tattoos” and shop hardcore accessories from vendors such as Rock My Lips and Altered Ego Clothing. This could be your last chance to get body art from legends including Shanghai Kate and Jay Freestyle.
Let Me Break You Up: An Anti-Dating Gameshow UCBEast; 11:59pm; $9
At this long-running exhibit of single persons’ vengeance at UCB, the unbeatable, unpredictable Carly Ann Filbin invites real couples to her own cheeky version of The Newlywed Game to see if their relationship is actually up to snuff. The couple with the fewest points has to break up. Good luck, and let the meltdowns commence!
A Night With Syd & Mike Etcetera Ectetera; 9:30pm; $10
In an age of truly glorious stoner comedy duos, Sydney Davis & Mike Holt have carved their own niche with their upbeat, self-aware videos on Instagram and Facebook. The two shut it down with drinks, sets, clips and screenings of new episodes at this 4/20 party.
NYC Hot Sauce Expo Brooklyn Expo Center; 10am; $10–$100
Feel the burn at this two-do celebration of all things spicy. You can sample dozens of vendors’ wares and take part in tongue-searing challenges, like the Guiness Book of Records Reaper Eating Contest. A general admission ticket includes free tastings for all the vendors and access to the lineup of events. Splurge for the Texas Some BBQ ticket: you get three beers, a bottle of High River Sauces, a barbecue lunch box and a limited edition poster.
Gotham Girls Roller Derby John Jay College of Criminal Justice; 6pm; $30
Five boroughs, five colors, five teams of fierce female furies ready to battle it out on the rink for eternal glory and a championship title. Show up early in your favorite team's colors and watch the league's fiercest brawlers bring it with rollerblades at this beloved pastime.
D20 Burlesque Parkside Lounge; 7pm; $15–$25
Our favorite nerdy burlesque crew returns with a delightfully kinky rager, this time taking on Black Panther, Scarlet Witch, Thanos and every other Marvel character in need of a cheeky striptease sendup. Get down to performances by Viktor Devonne, Esmerelda May, Mx Macabre, Danny Drake, Vonka, CeCeBrownsugah, Delicia Pastiche and more at this inclusive, ever-creative show.
Kevin Morby + Hand Habits Bowery Ballroom; 9pm; $20
The former Woods member and Babies frontman is a songwriter par excellence, as evidenced by last year's stunning City Music. The Los Angeles songman brings his man-on-the-road mysticism to the stage with support from singer-songwriter—and formidable guitarist—Meg Duffy, a.k.a. Hand Habits.
Tinder Live! Littlefield; 8:30pm; $15
At this popular and critically-acclaimed show, host Lane Moore navigates Tinder onstage, messaging with help from other star comedians and writers. This time, Moore gets swiping assistance from Jo Firestone, Ziwe Fumudoh and Louis Peitzman. Expect big laughs and plenty of cringe-worthy moments when they plunge thumbs first into the web of desire and insecurity that is the modern dating app.
Not Dead Yet C’mon Everybody; 8pm; $5–$7
Anything goes at this variety show, at which demented characters, strange songs and nonsensical stand-up sets abound. Artist, video maker, surreal stand-up and indefatigably chill host Lorelei Ramirez reigns over the dark tidings, with comedy from Sophia Cleary, Nore Davis, Ayo Edibiri and Marie Faustin; performance by Lord of Beef; music by Secret Sibling; and videos by Dekunle Somade, Rachel Anne Sennott and Brian Fiddyment.
Sidney Myer Pangea; 7pm; $25–$30
Old-fashioned entertainer, booker and Don't Tell Mama papa Myer may be the most lovable man in New York cabaret. In this concert, presented by Tweed, he shares droll songs and occasional tugs of earned sentiment.
Justin Vivian Bond: Boys in the Trees Joe’s Pub at the Public Theater; 9:30pm; $35 plus $12
Caustic wit, witchy charisma and subversive queer wisdom have made Bond one of New York’s essential performers: part transgender den parent, part cultural assassin, part offhand Cassandra. The alt-cabaret superstar's latest Joe's Pub set branches out to the "masc rock and teen lust" of male singers.
Wicked Frozen St. Luke’s Theatre; 7:30pm; $40–$60
Like an ice capade infused with psychedelic drugs, this musical parody of Wicked and Frozen goes wild to hit every mark a fan could desire. Join a talented cast as they take on characters like Adele Dazeem, Kristen Chenobell and Elsaba and journey through distorted versions of cherished intellectual properties, all with a sharp satirical eye on their surroundings.