HB Live Trivia Game Show Hill and Bay; 7:30pm; free
Get your HQ addiction out IRL at this killer trivia competition, at which Scott Dobrydney grills you through 20 questions—and sudden eliminations—with the winner getting $50 off their tab. This month's themes include pop music on March 5, the ’90s on March 12, American History on March 19 and Broadway Musicals on March 26.
RECOMMENDED: Fully guide to things to do this week in NYC
Miss Manhattan Non-Fiction Reading Series Niagara; 7:45pm; free
Elyssa Goodman welcomes a stellar assembly of writers to share their latest essays and nonfiction work at this monthly reading series in the East Village. This month, she welcomes Binalakshmi Nepram, Joanna Scutts, Magali Duzant, Margaret Eby and Susan Harlanto read pieces.
Celebrity Autobiography The Triad; 7pm; $40–$60 plus two-drink minimum
The only thing thing better than reading a celebrity's innermost thoughts is having a comedian read them to you. Major comedic actors prick the bubble of autobiographical puffery by performing droll, verbatim readings from stars' memoirs in Eugene Pack’s acclaimed series. The cast on March 5 comprises John Fugelsang, Janeane Garofalo, Jackie Hoffman, Susan Lucci, Eugene Pack, Dayle Reyfel and Alan Zweibel; the March 10 edition also includes Fugelsang, Garofalo, Pack and Reyfel, joined by Cady Huffman and Ralph Macchio.
Made of Bugs: A Show with Music The Footlight; 8pm; $5 suggested donation
Comics sing for their supper at this comedy showcase, at which they'll have to see if their jokes can be adapted to music. This month, delightful host Tim Platt and pianist Ben Kling welcome Peter Smith, Karolena Theresa, Fareeha Kahn, Taj Osorio, Anya Volz and Emily Winter. Stick around until the end for a chance to grab a little limelight at the open mic portion.
Revival Show: Comedians Revive Musical Roles from Their Past Carolines on Broadway; 7:30pm; $16.50
Anna Roisman and Lauren Brickman resurrect a grim panoply of roles from elementary school plays, talent shows and Bar Mitzvah dances past in this outrageous—and possibly therapeutic—performance night. This time, they're joined by Marti Gould Cummings, Eden Malyn and Mariah Rochelle Smith for some fond self-deprecation by the piano.
Impact Play 3F Studios; 8pm; $40–60
Sex educator and pro domme Lola Jean teaches you how to safely and pleasurably practice dominance, submission and slapping in the bedroom. Come with a partner or show up solo and get paired off. This course is hands (plus canes and floggers) on, so show up ready to play.
Adult Terrarium-Making Class Luludi Living Art; 6pm; $55
Make your own miniature landscape in this terrarium workshop. Carefully choose succulents, air plants, moss, bark and other natural materials to arrange in a 6-inch glass container. It's an ideal introduction to gardening for New Yorkers who aren't natural green thumbs.
Brewshop 101: Home Brewing Essentials Bitter & Esters; 6:30pm $55
Bitter and Esters is to beer nerds what Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory was to Charlie Bucket. Geek out over all the bubblers, kettles and other brewing gadgets, then sign up for one of the shop’s DIY brewing classes to learn how to make your favorite beer at home. The expert instructor will give you the lowdown on extract brewing, malts, grains and yeasts, then tell you how to spot common problems during the brewing process.
The Place We Live Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre; 9:30pm; $7
If you took imbibed severe psychedelic drugs and marathoned Beverly Hills, 90210, Melrose Place and Saved By the Bell...you'd probably die. Fortunately, some of UCB's most bananas performers are willing to improvise a totally ’90s teen soap for you, with all the sex, delirium and hyper-moralism you can safely handle. Count on hair and high jinkx from a cast that includes Dara Katz, Betsy Kenny, Jonathan Braylock and more.
Cupcakke Le Poisson Rouge; 8:30pm; $14–$25
Chicago rapper Cupcakke is best known for her extremely raunchy rhymes and one-liners, but her recent album, Ephorize, seeks to broaden her thematic (if not lyrical) horizons. Between quips about pussy and blue balls, Cupcakke promotes body positivity and yearns for romance that isn't confined to a bedroom. If you're a fan of Cardi B's quick-witted flow and don't mind a few graphic references to bodily fluids, this concert should be a real treat.
Amateur Night at the Apollo Theater; 7:30pm; $22–$34
With the start of a new year, so comes a new wave of young powerhouses ready to risk their reputations for a chance at eternal glory on the iconic Apollo stage. Your cheers (or boos) will decide who receives the night’s biggest honor—Top Dog—along with a cash prize of $20,000. Consider this your chance to see legends in the making before they become household names.
David Bowie Is Brooklyn Museum; 11am; Weekdays $20, weekends $25
Over the course of five decades, David Bowie drafted the new rules of rock & roll—and the rest of us are still trying to keep up. After breaking ticket records at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago, the touring exhibition “David Bowie Is” hits NYC in March, with more than 400 objects from the celestial pop icon’s life, including costumes, lyric sheets and performance clips. Here’s what you should look (and listen) for in this celebration of all things Thin White Duke.
Yeah She Did: Stories About Women You Should Know Caveat; 9pm; $15, at the door $20
An unbeatable lineup of powerhouse women hook you up with tales of heroines you've likely never heard of, all in celebration of International Women's Day. Catch sets by Aparna Nancherla, Keisha Zollar, Georgia Clark, Nicole Silverberg, Karen Chee, Janice Maffei, Maggie Widdoes, Taylor Garron and host Chloe Koser.
Art Battle NYC Le Poisson Rouge; 8pm; $15–$20
The solitary art of painting becomes a spectator sport at this showdown, where live painters face off in front of a crowd for a chance to compete in the international Art Battle championships. Watch as 12 artists spray and splash an assortment of paint during timed rounds, with drinks and music to keep the audience screaming. Paint on.
Dirty Thursday: ’90s Night House of Yes; 10pm; free
Travel back in time, get into the groove and lose your voice belting out legendary jams like Salt-n-Pepa's "None of Your Business" at this outrageous Bushwick dance party. Wear neon-splattered denims, oversized flannels or patent leather bodysuits to win free drinks and eternal dance-floor glory (or, if you win over the bartenders, that tends to work, too). DJ Dirtyfinger is at the helm, which means you won't stop moving all night. Spandex is sweat-proof, right?
The Future is Female Nitehawk Cinema; 7:30pm; various prices
Head to Williamsburg's cinema-meets-bar to catch eight short sci-fi films directed by women. Among the films are Nicole Delaney's YOYO, which follows a young woman named Caroline as she tries to lose her virginity in post-apocalyptic L.A., and Kerry Yang's Genghis Khan Conquers the Moon, which tells the story of, well, exactly what it sounds like does.
Open Market 2018 Highline Stages; 6:30pm; $150–$350
Celebrate the hip downtown neighborhood with this annual indoor block party packed with neighborhood businesses. Nosh on treats from L'Atelier de Joel Robuchon, Santina and Bagatelle, while shopping sample sales at high-end retailers like Theory and DVF.
Reformed Whores Present Up N’ Coming The Cobra Club; 9pm; free
NYC's most brilliantly deranged musical duo have continue their country-music conquest of the city's stand-up stages. They bring their bananas original songs to the Cobra for this special free night, and recruit comics Tom Thakker, Alex English, Shalewa Sharpe and George Gordan to join in on the madness.
Handmaid’s Tale: The Musical The Bell House; 8pm; $10–$15
Could the sheltered, groan-inducing millennial bastion known as Brooklyn become a dystopian terror state? Is New York destined to be the future base of Gilead? Fearless comedians Marcia Belsky and Melissa Stokoski take aim at their generation with Hulu's A Handmaid's Tale as their ammunition in this self-deprecating musical parody of the hit show. They bring Brooklyn's grim future to life with a cast of all-stars: Eudora Peterson, Sophie Santos, Karolena Theresa, Tim Platt, Greta Titelman, Drew Anderson, Arti Gollapudi, Farah Brook, Isabel Martin, Jr. and Tommy McNamara.
ESG The Bowery Electric; 7pm; $30–$40
Formed in the South Bronx in 1978, the immeasurably influential ESG is a (rightly) revered No Wave–era dance unit that defined a sort of skeletal funk that has guided countless bands and producers from the early ’80s through this very minute. The outfit hits the stage at Bowery Electric in celebration of its 40th anniversary.