Nothing will give your loved one a chill up their spine this Valentine's Day like naming a cockroach after them.
Every year, the Bronx Zoo's Name A Roach program gives us a thrill, and this time is no different. For $15, you can symbolically name one of more than 50,000 giant cockroaches at the zoo and hand your loved one (or ex) a certificate of their new roach friend. How kind!
And these aren't your average, run-of-the-mill New York City vermin, these are exotic hissing roaches from Madagascar, which are the world's largest roach species at four inches long. And yes, they hiss—it's a defense mechanism. At the zoo, they can be found in the Madagascar! exhibit along with lemurs and crocodiles.
The zoo is also offering other packages if you really want to go all out on this roach thing. "The works" at $55 includes roach socks, a roach candle and the naming certificate. You can also buy these items separately if a roach candle for some reason sounds enticing.
You can also get your heart racing on Valentine's Day at the zoo at a special event called "Roach Romance" where couples can meet the roaches while they sip wine and nibble on chocolate.
Even as skeevy as they are, while flowers wither and die, roaches live on.
Since launching in 2011, Name-a-Roach has resulted in thousands of formerly anonymous roaches being given the gift of a name and thousands of hopeless romantics being given the gift of a good story to tell their friends.