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Photograph: Courtesy Universal Studios

The new trailer for Cats is terrifying!

By
Adam Goldman
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For many, 2019 has been a year of challenges. Little did we know that the universe was saving its greatest horror for the eleventh hour: a new Cats trailer has dropped! And you haven't even had time to recover from the release of Taylor's uhh questionable new song yet. As someone who has never seen any version of Cats, but lives with an actual, non-singing cat, I am very conflicted.

On one hand, cats are great: fuzzy, affectionate, occasionally aloof.

On the other hand, Cats is terrifying. These felines dwell in the uncanny valley, and unlike Sonic the Hedgehog, they have not been redesigned following an outpouring of disgust from the public at large.

I'm not trying to yuck anyone's yum! You can't argue with the Cats cast. And also, James Corden will be present. As a fully licensed gay man, I am required to see this film when it comes out next month, and on a certain level I am excited to see what all the fuss is about. Based on the trailer it seems to be about a reality singing competition for cats? IDK, you tell me! But please don't because I want to be surprised.

Cats! It's about cats. Singing cats! You'll love it.

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