To put it lightly: The last two weeks have pretty much been a stress cyclone—from the 2020 election kicking into high gear to the ongoing pandemic and pretty much everything else going on in the world right now. Now we all have different coping mechanisms for dealing with this ongoing, swirling anxiety, but if you haven’t considered it yet, may we suggest another one: eating a huge amount of pizza.
Of course, you could order a pie from one of the best pizza places in NYC, but if you’re really looking to go the extra self-care mile, here’s a wonderful new service you can take advantage of: pizza with a side of encouraging words.
One of NYC’s most inventive ‘za spots, Vinnie’s Pizzeria in Williamsburg, is now offering an enticing item on a new portion of its menu called “Positive Reinforcement.” For $1, your delivery driver will look you straight in the eyes and tell you: “EVERYTHING’S GONNA BE OK AND YOU’RE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN.”
Needless to say, that’s pretty much what every New Yorker needs to hear right now, so it’s probably worth the extra fee. Helpfully, Vinnie’s has also spent the last few days responding to some FAQs on its Instagram that may help clear up any lingering things you may be wondering about. For instance, can you only order comforting words and no pizza? “There’s a $15 minimum,” writes Vinnie’s. “So you’d have to order 15 comforting sentences. But if you’d like only 1, only order it as a pickup and we’ll tell you how great you’re doing from our pickup window.” Also: Can you order 10 of these? “Yes.”
If you need help deciding what pizza to order along with your words of encouragement, may we suggest the “pizza box pizza?” It’s a pizza that comes in a pizza box made of pizza. Now that should be enough to cheer anyone up.
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