|Venue name:||Ikea Brooklyn||Contact:|
1 Beard St
|Cross street:||at Otsego St|
|Opening hours:||Daily 10am–9pm|
|Transport:||Subway: F, G to Smith–9th Sts|
|Do you own this business?|
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Do NOT come here on a weekend, and if you do, get there at the crack of dawn. This place turns into a madhouse. That being said, it's still Ikea, and Ikea is great. I got quite a few pieces for my apartment here. Recommendation: come with friends and a van like I did because it's going to be impossible to find anyone on staff to help you.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present the Ikea conundrum: Do I brave the hellish long lines and labyrinth-like layout to get that cheap yet stylish lamp, a fake tree, mirror and sofa for less than a month's rent or do I stay home and sip hot tea while sitting on the cardboard boxes leftover from my recent move?
While this might be a bit over the top, I often find myself examining the cost/benefit of a trip to the balls-to-the-wall crazy instruction booklet drawings capitol of the world (or at least their Brooklyn outpost). Owning a car certainly helps; there's plenty of parking and you can wheel your pallet of particle board straight to your car. But sometimes all of the Swedish Meatballs (now available in chicken and veggie options) and Lingonberry Jam in the world is not enough to get your butt on any form of transportation and into the ready-to-assemble furniture mecca.
Some of the cheapest, non-off-the-street furniture around
The most noticeably cheap furniture, easily recognized as coming from Ikea
Delicious and super cheap food court
Mystery meat-meat balls and long lines at the cafeteria
Clean, well lit, well organized store layout
Too much store, too much store!!!
Simple product lines and color choices
Confusing product names that require sounds your throat doesn't normally make
Great little chachkies for around the house
More little chachkies to clutter your house
Comfy beds at great prices
Non-standard mattress/frame sizes (silly Sweden!)
Great exercise walking the multi-acre store
Get ready for foot cramps and blisters
This worked for me in college so why ditch a good thing?
This was great in college but I'm an adult now.
I can save so much money while furnishing an entire apartment!
I like being broke after spending tons of money on furniture!
Can drop the kids at the play place
I love my kids and never want to be apart. Ever!
Assembling furniture is a fun, relationship building activity
Ikea furniture is why I'm twice divorced!
You can go back and forth in your head like this for hours but at least once or twice a year you will find yourself pushing a cart (with wacky wheels that, both front and back, roll every which way) through isles of vaguely numbered cardboard boxes and waiting on line for over an hour. It is only inevitable that the wave of pro Ikea thoughts will splash over the side of your sailboat of home decor and lead you to the promised land.
Don't fight it. It will only hurt that much more.