Yes, it's true: The royals have landed in NYC. The future king of England and his wife are here in the States for the next couple days, and their official schedule includes meetings with President Obama and Chirlane McCray (Mayor Bill de Blasio's wife). Wills and Kate are celebrated as the coolest royals the U.K. has ever had (hardly tough competition, but still), and in keeping with this, the couple's trip includes a trip to Brooklyn for a Nets game (gasp!). But we'd like to see them really dig their teeth into Gotham—like a massive, gold-plated pastrami sandwich—and check out New York's real treasures. Show us a real New Yorker who isn't devoted to the Russian & Turkish Baths
, or Sleep No More
, or the Boobie Trap
, and we'll eat our archaic monarchical hat. So with an NYC fanfare (that's a chorus of car horn honks), let the royal tour commence!