And it came to pass that there were very few domiciles in the city of New York, and those that existed were scarce and required great riches
to acquire. Many struggled to find a place in which to lay their heads, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. But one day there came among them a prophet, who gave unto them a stone tablet on which was engraved ten important teachings
. On that day the people gave thanks indeed, and there was much rejoicing in the land, and much celebrating and dancing was made. And on that day the people did use these ten commandments wisely, and never again was any forced to wake up in a cold sweat at 4am, wondering how it was that they were living with four other people in a one-bedroom
in Crown Heights above a fat man who plays the tuba. Hallelujah!