Windsor Castle

If Alf Garnett ever redecorated heaven, it might look like this. Royals in plate, porcelain and photographic form grimace alongside sundry souvenirs of National Service; once a month, members of the Handlebar Club delicately try to keep their ’taches from drowning in ale.

Plaques mark every drinking space, each dedicated to a cherished regular whose first name reflects pre-war fashion, while signed photos of lesser British celebrities (Dennis Waterman, PC Snow from Softly Softly) testify to a relaxed bonhomie. Visiting Americans seem to like it, perhaps plumping for Guinness over the ales (Adnams, Bombardier) or preferring a G&T to a glass of – no, really – Liebfraumilch.

George Best resides atop a horseshoe bar counter, behind which an adept kitchen turns out Thai curries. Outside tables offer respite from the somewhat claustrophobic interior.