Worldwide icon-chevron-right Europe icon-chevron-right United Kingdom icon-chevron-right England icon-chevron-right London icon-chevron-right 13 reasons we’re totally cool about the night tube being delayed

13 reasons we’re totally cool about the night tube being delayed

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It seems like we've waited an age for the new night tube service, and now we're having to wait even longer because aptly, the service has been delayed from its original September 12 launch date, probably until the spring. 

But before you cancel all those big nights out you had planned for the weekend, and curse yourself for all that money you're going to spend on Ubers, let us play devil's advocate. We're actually kind of relieved. No, seriously. Here's why.


1. No night tube = less pressure to stay out

The possibility of partying until the wee hours without having to shell out for a cab or roughing it on the bus might seem like a plus, but what about when you really want to slip out after a few pints and just go home, curl up and rest your weary head? You've still got the lack of transport options to blame.

2. And an excuse not to go out in the first place

Come on, we've all said we've 'missed the last tube' to bail on a night out, when in fact we've been tucked up in a blanket watching Netflix all evening with no intention of leaving the house.

3. Plus when you do go out, you'll end up being really, really late

Londoners just love to procrastinate, so we don't need another excuse to be late to another big night out. With no curfew we'll undoubtedly end up stringing out getting ready and nailing pre-bar tinnies for even longer. And by the time you get to the club those entry prices will be through the roof and the queues won't bear thinking about.

4. You've still got an excuse to never go out in south London

Once the tube is shut, south London postcodes are off limits to north Londoners – you'd have to get about five buses home and cab prices would be mega. So you can stay safe in the knowledge that when your pal's birthday rolls around you've still got an excuse to leave promptly after pre-drinks and miss the messy, shot-fuelled aftermath at the Dogstar.

5. You've still got an excuse to never go out in north London

Once the tube is shut, north London postcodes are off limits to south Londoners – you'd have to get about five buses home and cab prices would be mega. So you can stay safe in the knowledge that when your pal's birthday rolls around you've still got an excuse to leave promptly after pre-drinks and miss the messy, shot-fuelled aftermath at the The Dolphin.

6. Night bus culture is actually great

Hear us out on this one! The tube has always been a don't-speak-to-strangers zone. The night bus by contrast is the friendliest of TfL's vessels – there's more sorority among the passengers. Just think of all the fair-weather friends you've made over the years at 4am while swapping night out tales and sharing your doner meat and chips. 

7. You've still got the excuse to max out Uber

They drive straight to your door and they'll even soundtrack your journey with that awful 'party tunes' playlist you made last New Year on Spotify, without a word of complaint. Plus, you've got more time to work on that perfect five-star passenger rating.

8. The night tube is going to stink

Londoners hopping onto the tube post-party, spilling their sober-me-up drinks and kebab remnants everywhere is going to cause one hell of a literal stink. And that's before the buffeting of the carriages sends them into pukey meltdown.

9. And it's still going to stink the morning after

Monday's commute will roll around and even the best-prepared team of cleaners won't be able to lift that weekend-long stench. It's going to linger big time.

10. There'll probably be someone asleep in your seat

It's hard enough getting a seat on the Underground without the fact that some sleepy reveller will probably still be going up and down the Victoria line after 'a few pints' on Sunday night.

11. The PDAs will be unbearable

It's a well-known fact that alcohol makes people feel frisky. Which means that while you're trying to ride home minding your own business in the early hours there'll definitely be someone snogging in your eyeline or spilling over into your seat with their keen, fondling limbs.

12. House prices will go up

Houses in the vicinity of the 24-hour tube will be 'better linked' and inevitably soar in price. Good if you already own one, bad if you haven't got that deposit together yet.

13. It means we've got something to moan about

Giving Londoners what they want isn't the done thing – we're used to bitter disappointment from our transport services and so the delay means we can happily grumble and tut away a few months more.

Want more transport news? Here's how to find out your Uber rating.

Or find out how you can get free books on the tube.

 

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