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16 things we learned taking the night tube for the first time

Written by
Luke Abrahams

The night tube is dark and full of terrors – not to mention pools of vomit, blokes weeing on the tracks, people taking drunken selfies, mountains of beer cans and some seriously shady London folk. Aside from being one ‘nasty, trashy, sleazy, classless’ (thanks, Destiny's Child) experience, the night tube does have its benefits: no more night buses (unless you live south-east), no more rip-off Ubers or black cabs and most importantly, no more nights out that end before midnight. YAY! From creepy deserted stations to very drunk Londoners, here are 16 things I spotted while taking the night tube for the first time this weekend. 

1. At times, the night tube is scary. Like, deserted '28 Days Later' scary:


A video posted by Luke Abrahams (@labrahams19891) on

There's nobody around in King's Cross:

Luke Abrahams

 Or Euston:

Luke Abrahams

Not a soul: 

Luke Abrahams

2. People say some weird and hilarious stuff ( via #wordonthetube):

'It's so hot on here I think my vag is on fire.'

'Jesus looks like the type of guy who would wear crocs.'

'Are vegans humans? Or are they like their own species?' 

'I would dick slap John for a burrito right now.'

'I lost my drink but I think I've found myself.' 

'Don't tell anyone but I used a child travel card to get on the tube tonight.' 

3. Unsurprisingly, everybody is drunk:


A video posted by Rosie (@rosieeebeeee) on

Very drunk: 

Totally happy drunk:


A photo posted by Neiliyah (@neiliyahstagram) on

#FINISHED drunk:


A photo posted by Orlando Gili (@orlandogili) on

4. The carriages are so pretty:

5. It's a free gym:


A photo posted by Rob (@selfiedges) on   

6. SELFIES! Selfies everywhere:


A photo posted by Shirley (@shirley___mok) on

7. Everywhere you look, you'll see some kind of anarchy:


A photo posted by Omari Antony (@omariantony) on

8. The seats are haunted:


A video posted by Ilya V (@reciprocal_life) on

9. Speaking of seats, priority seat rules no longer apply #trolleyed: 


A photo posted by Andrew Hill (@andrewhillas) on

 10. The peeps on the night tube are scary:


A photo posted by Jayson Haebich (@jaysonh000) on

11. You'll see shit like this that will just make you LOL (seriously 9/39 minutes?):

Luke Abrahams

12. There are loads of totally dreamy police officers keeping us safe:


A photo posted by Issy Nash (@issynash21) on

13. At every interchange stop you'll hear 'The Northern line is suspended. The Circle line is suspended. The Metropolitan line is suspended (when does it ever work?) The Piccadilly line is suspended. All National Rail Services from this station are suspended.' We get the point, TfL: 

Luke Abrahams

14. Friday, Saturday, same crap, everyday – everyone still looks miserable and you STILL won't get a seat on the tube: 

Luke Abrahams

 15. There are awesome 'playlist' service information signs like this:

Luke Abrahams

16. The seats are the new bins (at least they were decent enough to try and hide their litter): 

Luke Abrahams

Here's everything you need to know about the night tube.

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