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A quarter of Brits want the Shard turned into a helter-skelter

Kate Lloyd

The people of Britain have had their say, and it turns out a quarter of us want the Shard to be turned into a helter-skelter. This puts it at the top of’s prestigious list of world landmarks that people want turned into rides. It’s followed by the Grand Canyon, the Eiffel Tower and the Bull Ring in Birmingham.

The statistic has left me confused. Surely, more than a quarter of Brits must realise that the Shard would be infinity-times more exciting it if was a slide. Imagine telling your mate that you slid all the way down the tallest building in the European Union. You literally scraped a skyscraper with your arse. In fact, London would be a better place if all landmarks were actually fairground rides. I’d be much keener to visit Buckingham Palace if it was actually a haunted house with a corgi ghost train and nightmare appearances from former royal family members. While we're at it, let’s stick some dodgems in Trafalgar Square! Turn Millennium Bridge into a zipline! And the London Eye would be much more thrilling if it was a ferris… oh, wait.

Anyway, the ride revolution has already started. The ArcelorMittal Orbit’s already getting turned into a helter-skelter. Find out more here.

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