London does Valentine’s Day in all manner of weird and wonderful ways. So forget red roses or boxes of chocolates and try one of these superior quirky alternatives.
Among the many pre-Feb 14 Valentine's warm-ups is this loved-up version of a popular boozy brunch club. Angled as more of a party rather than a quiet, couply affair, there'll be a special Valentine's menu over three sittings over the day, including a singles' sesh for those searching for love. Oh, and you can upgrade your ticket for bottomless bloody marys if you're thirsty for more than just love. Haunt, N16 7UY. Sat Feb 11. £19.50-£29.50.
Forget strawberries and champagne, this year you're invited to step back through the ages and enjoy Valentine's Day with a historic twist. The Queen of Hoxton Rooftop will play host to a seductive still life, where everything on the table was at one point or another considered an aphrodisiac. Presented by food historian Tasha Marks, you’ll sip, sniff and taste your way through 2000 years of frisky foodstuffs. Queen of Hoxton, EC2A 3JX. Sun Feb 12. £20.
Stroll and chat with fellow dog lovers on a walk this weekend in aid of the All Dogs Matter charity. Here’s a conversation starter: if Julia Roberts had been in a film about foiling the marriage of two pals’ pets, would it have been called ‘My Best Friend’s Man’s Best Friend’s Wedding’? Various locations – check event website. Sun Feb 12. £5.
An evening of saucy readings and sassy tales from five readers including Reba Maybury, Sarah Baker and Molly Parkin. There will also be a pop-up sex shop stocking Baron & Baroness products and the publications being read from. Tickets include a Love Punch cocktail. Book in advance. Punch Room at the London Edition, W1T 3NP. Mon Feb 13. £10.
Lovers can celebrate Valentine's Day in serious style thanks this Wes Anderson-themed food and film evening in east London. Welcome cocktails will kick off the evening and a three course dinner in The Grand Hall will follow, complete with personalised menus and bars of Mast chocolate for you and your beau. A screening of 'The Grand Budapest Hotel' – complete with unlimited popcorn – will round off the evening. The Feb 14 date has sold out, but there are still tickets for Feb 15, so book quick! Town Hall Hotel, Patriot Square, E2 9NF. Wed Feb 15. £65.
Find more quirky Valentine's inspiration in our round-up of alternative romantic things to do in London.
And remember to check our full Valentine's Day guide for all the events, parties and restaurants you'll need this Feb 14.