London’s rep is taking a serious beating this year. As the capital of England and the UK, we’ve had to fight hard to assure the world of our city’s tolerance following the calamity of the Brexit vote (thanks, provinces).
Now, another fresh hell has now been heaped on all of us: our reputation as Europe's party city is under threat, as official figures confirm London has been overtaken as Europe’s ‘cocaine capital’ by the tiny Belgian city of Antwerp.
The EU’s drug monitoring agency found that the average daily concentration of cocaine in London's sewer waters was 894.9mg per 1,000 people per day, behind Antwerp at 914.8mg.
London had been hoovering up more of the white stuff than our continental cousins since 2013.
Whilst the capital still tops the table for weekly coke averages – jumping from 730.4mg in 2015 to a whopping 949.3mg this year – low drug use at weekends means London is no longer the Champion of Charlie.
It's a shock to us that Londoners actually take it easier at the weekend (just look at Kingsland Road on a Saturday night), but it’s no wonder, in the year of Brexit, Bowie and Bake Off, that Londoners are turning to the hard stuff just to get through the week.
In other news, Londoners are more sleep deprived than the rest of the UK.