Creative Commons / Konstantin
Let's face it, commuting can be shit. You're left feeling like you've undertaken a hard day's work before you've even reached the office – not to mention the daily games of human Tetris.
But it's also a prime chunk of time ideal for 140-character rants, cat memes and social stalking. That's why Twitter can be bloody brilliant. And it's for this reason we've compiled a list of the seven transport-related Twitter accounts every commuter should be following.
We've had it up to our eyeballs with TfL’s cancellation excuses, absurdly vague updates and downright ridiculous announcements. That’s where TLF Travel Alerts comes in, a sarcasm-filled feed to quench every bloodthirsty Londoner's appetite for blatant mocking.
Just improving the Jack Daniel's adverts on the tube. pic.twitter.com/8EXdCgLJkM— We Fix Your Adverts (@WeFixYourAdvert) February 24, 2016
Fed up of mundane, nonsensical and downright stupid adverts on public transport? Fear not, for We Fix Your Adverts are here to help. Masters of Photoshop trickery, this account has been putting ad execs to shame with humorous rejigging that outshines the originals by miles. Having only begun posting in January this year, the feed has already racked up over 15,000 followers.
It's all in the spelling. After the glorious @se_raleways account got suspended and golden quotes like 'Your journey of a thousand miles must start with a single delay' were eternally resigned to Twitter’s recycling bin, SE Tranes has returned as the slightly more socially acceptable sibling. It's dripping with sarcasm and plenty of memes, so click that 'follow' button immediately.
The name may be somewhat misleading (in addition to its own, Plaistow Stn QOTD retweets quotes from other renowned London Underground stations including Oval and Kennington) but this Twitter account churns out witty and inspirational quotes like they're going out of fashion. It's the feed that adds a little positivity to your day and means you'll never find yourself uninspired on a Monday morning.
A (non-exhaustive) list of things more reliable than @SW_Trains:— South West Pains (@SouthWestPains) January 13, 2016
2. Tony Blair
3. The Daily Mail
Here's a hilarious hotpot of commuter woes. Yep, that's the only real way to do this account justice in under ten words. It may sound like yet another sarcasm-loaded travel-related account, but South West Pains vents like no other. Mixing creative self-penned tweets with the very best Twitter rants from stand-up commuters turned comedians, you might actually start to wish you were delayed more often.
When's My Bus? is the Twitter bot sparing you the rain-drenched wait at the bus stop. Unlike other accounts dishing out rants, sarcasm and memes quicker than you can shout ‘SCREW YOU TFL!’, this interactive feed informs you of the latest buses arriving in your area. How does it work? All you need to do is send a single tweet – having either enabled GPS on your smartphone, copied the SMS code written on the bus stop or stated your location – and voila! By tapping into TfL’s real-time travel information system, you’ll receive a personalised tweet back with two times for the next two buses arriving at your local stop(s). You can find out more here.
One of our new team of crack special forces has arrived. pic.twitter.com/j1yUisr42P— David Cameron (@DavidChameron) November 23, 2015
This account may not solely focus on travel woes but it certainly contains a shitload of guest appearances from London Mayor Boris Johnson. From HS2 rants to memes so quotable you'll probably see them doing the rounds on Twitter weeks later, this feed is the ultimate rolling comedy sketch. It’s about time we got David Chameron into Downing Street – because everyone needs a stand-up Prime Minster.