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Six tribes you'll see at Taylor Swift in Hyde Park

 

 

Taylor Swift hits Hyde Park on Saturday. Here's who'll be in the crowd... 

1. Hyper pre-teens (and their parents)

Aka the group most likely to faint. Probably flaunting their Taylor Swift phone cases as they Snapchat the entire show. Accompanied by parent with large picnic. 'Oh my God, she waved at me!' they'll shriek, as their parents agree and work out how much the parking has cost them so far.

2. Trendy '1989' converts

They used to think Taylor was a bit twee and slut-shamey, but now they think she's just so sassy - and not in an ironic way. They'll spend gaps between songs discussing the feminist significance of her lyrics and checking to see what her celeb friends have Instagrammed. 'Pop's the new rock 'n' roll, you know?'

3. Guestlist wankers

They have no interest in actually watching Taylor Swift, but their boss sorted them out with VIP entry and it seemed like a bit of a laugh. You'll find them guffawing as they order a round of Jagerbombs mid- set or networking loudly during the ballads. This obviously doesn't include journalists, by the way.

4. From Day Ones

Probably wearing a Cath Kidston cagoul (and matching wellies), they'll moan about how Taylor was so much more real when she did country. A proper girl-next-door. They'll roll their eyes at the '1989' converts dancing to 'Shake It Off' and cry if Taylor does 'Tim McGraw'.

5. Celebrity pals

We're guessing Brit besties Cara Delevingne, Ed Sheeran and Ellie Goulding will be there, taking Instagrams with their main gal backstage. #soproud. #bff4lyf. Then someone will get a blurry iPhone photo that could potentially show rumoured boyfriend Calvin Harris watching from side-of- stage. The fan forums will kick off.

6. 'Celebrity pals'

These guys will be sharing Instagrams too, except they'll be in the crowd, about 200 metres away from the stage. Oh, and they've never actually met Taylor. They'll spend the majority of the gig desperately searching for signal so they can tell the Mail Online that they're wearing a dress from their Very collection.

Taylor Swift plays British Summer Time on Sat Jun 27.

Do you agree with our round-up of the best Taylor Swift songs of all time

Read more gig LOLs:

20 ultimate festival rules

Five celebrity tribes that ruin festivals

How to make it through a London festival

 

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