What are you cooking for dinner tonight? Pesto pasta AGAIN? Really? Come on, mix it up a bit. How about a fag salad? Or why not try mice poison ragu? These delicious-sounding 'fusion' recipes are the work of artist and photographer Tom Lakeman, who's created a cookbook (and we're using that term loosely) where each recipe uses all the ingredients on shopping lists found on the floor in supermarkets across London.
Described as 'beautifully inedible food', the book is called 'À La Cart' and features such culinary delights as the nine-volt burger, where a fruit bread bun is stuffed with a veggie burger, flowers and, er, 9V batteries. Mmmm, electricity. Or if that isn't doing it for you, what about these exotic maki toilet rolls?
And for dessert? There's fairy mousse, which sounds a lot more appetising than it actually is as it's made from juice, strawberry mousse and washing up liquid.
Some people collect stamps or expensive art, but Tom has been collecting shopping lists for the last eight years. Once his collection was pushing 200, he decided to make a book of them packed with recipes for not-so-haute cuisine-inspired meals. His only rule when compiling the book was that each recipe had to every ingredient on the list, apart from anything that was crossed out.
He's now launched a crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter where you can pre-order copies of the book and help fund the first print-run.
Rapidly losing your appetite? We don't blame you. You probably won't find any inspiration for your next dinner party in 'À La Cart', but the pictures are kind of mesmerising in a that's-so-gross-I-need-to-look-away-but-I-can't type way. We'll just leave you with this - and yes, that's a tongue.
Want some edible food? Take a look at the best scotch eggs in London.