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Andy Parsons

Things you only know if you’re a greasy spoon guv’nor

By
Danielle Goldstein
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…according to Austin Yardley, 38.

Technology isn’t doing the caff any favours

‘I don’t think anyone sets out to be rude, but mobile phones have contributed to that. Everyone’s on the phone! And the first thing people ask is, “What’s the wi-fi code?”’

Londoners have got much fussier when it comes to coffee

‘When people used to come in and ask for a cappuccino, I’d think: “Where do you think you are, north London?” But in the last six years people’s expectations of what a good coffee is have got higher. If I still sold instant coffee, I probably wouldn’t have been so successful. People say “Don’t change anything”, but I’ve changed lots and the business has flourished.’

Tourists try and book tables at greasy spoons

‘You don’t really book when you go to a caff, do you? But I regularly get tourists trying to make bookings – them and Christmas parties. I can only fit 32 inside and someone wants turn up for breakfast with 12 people!’

Some people get very unhappy about London prices

‘I had this big guy with a handlebar moustache complain about the price of the veggie breakfast. This was a few years back, and I think it was £8. Anyway, he had his breakfast and as he paid he said, “I’ve gotta tell you, mate, that’s the dearest breakfast I’ve ever had.” So I told him to eff off and it turned into huge argument. My dad came out and called him a northern so-and-so and he said, “I’m not northern, I’m from New Cross.” So my dad said, “Well, fuck off home to New Cross!”’

Austin Yardley voices Ministry of Sound’s ‘Long Live LDN’ campaign video. Pop in for a cuppa at Terry’s Café.

Now discover the things you only know if you’re a cinema manager.

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