Get us in your inbox


This London's pub barred-for-life list is #squadgoals

Written by
Guy Parsons

In deepest south London, Herne Hill to be precise, the Half Moon pub carefully maintains a list of reprobates, rascals and other rapscallions banned from their premises.

And the list, as revealed by @Rumersongs on Twitter, is a 22-scoundrel-strong DREAM TEAM of wrong'uns, each chancer, scamp and cad more delightfully nicknamed than the last.

With such better-avoided characters as 'Mickey Two Suits', 'Staring Pervert' and 'Crazy Linda', this is the creme-de-la-creme of creeps. You can almost picture them doing 'Baaaaad Guys!' from Bugsy, but in a London accent, and actually it'd just be called 'We're Fucking Cunts, Nah Mate, Nah We're Just Having A Laugh Mate, Fuck Off, Fucking Take A Joke Mate, Don't Fucking Start, I'm Fucking Telling You'.

In fact, it calls for nothing less than its own ensemble adventure.

You marvelled at 'The Avengers'!

 You delighted at 'Trainspotting'!

Even 'Horrible Bosses 2' was sort-of OK I guess?

 Well, don't miss, 'Still... Barred':

It'll be along the lines of 'Ocean's 22', except rather than turning over a casino, they shoplift a four-pack of K Cider from the local offie and then spend the next two hours squabbling over how it should be divided. And in 2019, look forward to the spin-off from the Barred Extended Universe: DANNY PARTRIDGE – HE'S BACK AND FAT.

For someone else who's outstayed their welcome, see the cat that's decided to live in Brockley Sainsbury's.

Popular on Time Out

    You may also like
    You may also like