As I type, London is falling to its new winged overlords. Just as the prophecies promised, the flying ants have arrived. Now, they're clambering across our pavements, houses and even on the tube. THE TUBE.
One by one my colleagues are disappearing from the room, replaced by swarms of six-legged, two-winged critters. I fear I don't have much time left.
What's a flying ant?
They're grown-up ants and queen ants who head out of their nests to get laid once the weather's right.
Why have they suddenly invaded London?
The jet-set critters like to get it onnnnn when the weather is warm and dry. And, look out the window kid; that time is now. It's called their ‘nuptial flight’.
So, they're getting some hot summer loving?
Yep - the Queen ant from one colony will lure in males from another with her sexy sexy pheromones.
Will they become normal ants again after?
His genitalia will explode, ultimately killing him. Her wings will fall off and she'll find a nice nest in the nest suburbs to raise the kids.
What's Flying Ant Day?
It comes from an urban myth that all ants mate in a 24-hour period, but in actual fact the bugs' mating season falls over two weeks-ish.
Can we kill them?
Wildlife experts say 'please don't'. They eat loads of garden pests.
Is the world going to end?
No, but don't be surprised if your friendly barista looks at you with eyes of a thousand ants tomorrow morning as the insects take their rightful place in the history of the universe. Ants will rule all. All bow down to ants.