Despite the best efforts of sentient beings everywhere, the Donald Trump presidential bandwagon keeps on a-rolling. After having a super ‘Super Tuesday’, Trumpers is hot favourite to become the Republican nominee for the 2016 US election. But news has reached us from the Three Stags pub in Lambeth that the dodgily haired politician is also winning a very different kind of race – the race to guzzle the most amount of urine.
Confused? Let us explain. Visitors to the pub's bogs can choose to wee into the mouths of The Donald or his Republican rivals Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio. And get this: the pub is even conducting a poll to see which is the most pissed-in candidate. When asked for an update on the contest, pub owner Richard Bell told The Poke: 'Trump is pissing all over it. By 20/1! Everyone is peeing in Trump’s nut.'
It’s the perfect revenge: he fills our ears with shit, we fill his mouth with piss.
The official results of the poll will be delivered on Channel 4 programme ‘The Last Leg’ this Friday.
In other great news, there's a giant bouncy castle on the South Bank.