As part of our comedy special, Evelyn Mok rounds up ways to blend in with capital crowds on London's public transport.
I moved to London in 2012 and it took me about three months to learn the tube system. Now I am a pro. Follow my advice and you’ll blend right in.
Crying on public transport? Encouraged!
If you haven’t had a cry on public transport, with total disregard for your fellow passengers’ comfort levels, you are not a true Londoner. I once had a full-on drunk weep over a boy who ghosted me, on the 341 from Waterloo, all the way up to Haringey. It was the most cathartic bus ride of my life.
Sitting in priority seating even though you don’t need to? Frowned upon when it’s others. Okay when it’s you!
I’ve done anything to keep my priority seat, like pretending to be fully engrossed in the Evening Standard so I can act like I haven’t seen that elderly woman. I’ve even put on a ‘baby on board’ badge, pushed out my tummy and, when offered a seat by the elderly, taken it.
Walking past someone who’s collapsed? Okay when you are late for work
You get off the tube and the person in front of you drops to the floor. Of course you’ll help, but you secretly hope that the person next to you will rush to their side so you can walk past with a clear conscience. It’s not that you’re a bad person, it’s just that you’ve been late to work every day this week and today you have a chance of breaking that cycle. You still waste 10 minutes getting a coffee from Pret though.
Evelyn co-hosts ‘Rice to Meet You’ on Apple Podcast and Spotify.
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