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Here’s what you’ll find inside the £106,000 Oscars goodie bag

It includes a plot of land in the Scottish Highlands.

Nick Levine
Written by
Nick Levine

Hollywood’s biggest night out, the Oscars, takes place on Sunday, bringing awards season to a glitzy climax. The Power of the Dog is the frontrunner with 12 nominations and is also favourite to take home Best Picture, but don’t bet against Coda causing an upset on the night. This touching comedy-drama about a deaf family and their gifted daughter has all the momentum right now.

Among the acting nominees are some brilliant Brits – Benedict Cumberbatch, Olivia Colman, Judi Dench and Andrew Garfield – plus the West End’s ‘Cabaret’ darling Jessie Buckley. But whether they win or lose, they won’t be going home empty-handed on the night.

For the 20th year, L.A.-based marketing company Distinctive Assets are offering all 25 acting and directing nominees an entirely unofficial goodie bag packed with fancy and frankly quite ridiculous items. According to Forbes, this year’s super-swag-bag is worth an eye-watering $140,000 (£106,000). Here’s just some of what it contains:

  • A plot of land in the Highlands, which entitles each nominee to style themselves Lord or Lady of Glencoe
  • A three-night takeover of an actual castle complete with a bagpiper welcome, a private gin tasting and fully-personalised concierge service
  • A session with New York-based ‘self-love’ coach Nicola Fernandes worth $1,111 (£842)
  • A liposuction treatment worth up to $15,000 from Florida-based Art Lipo
  • A supply of HempHera CBD cosmetics worth more than $1,000 (£758)

You can check out a full demo of the gift bag, which also includes some more down-to-earth items including Bahlsen biscuits and San Pellegrino water, below. It’s no accident the goodie bag is branded ‘Everyone Wins’, tbh.

Actually, though, this year’s ‘Everyone Wins’ items aren’t even the most weird and wonderful ever. Here are some very random highlights from years past:
  • A vagina rejuvenation procedure (2014)
  • A stash of personalised M&Ms worth $300 (£227) (2016)
  • Two six-packs of something called ‘the world’s only luxury condom’ (2015)
  • Um... bullet-resistant doors (2020)
  • A urine collector called Peezy Midstream (2020)
  • A scale model of a Virgin Galactic spaceship (2011)
  • A personalised stained glass self-portrait (2019)
  • A toilet plunger shaped like the poo emoji... sure (2019)

You couldn’t make it up, could you?

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