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How not to be a dick when you’re cycling around London

By Charlie Allenby

You’ve got a bike. Thats cool: youre getting exercise, youre eco-friendly. But London is a different place for cyclists and theres some important etiquette you need to abide by to keep other cyclists, pedestrians and, yes, even your work colleagues happy. 

1. Walking your bike across the line at a traffic light still counts as jumping it

We know what you’re doing and it’s still cheating. Wait in the box like everybody else.

2. Bikes have no place on the Underground…

Cramming yourself on to the tube at rush hour is hard enough, never mind your bike. Keep it above ground. You know: where the roads are.

3. …or the pavement

It’s only acceptable for your bike to be on the pavement if you’re under ten, walking with it, or both. Outside of those scenarios, you’re just being a menace and annoying people.

4. Deodorant is your friend after commuting by bike

Your ride to work is short and you had a shower before you left the house. You’re fine. But those sweaty stains under your arms are telling a different story. Have a quick spritz when you get in.

5. Beware of Boris bike riders

Tourists love Santander cycles, so there’s a high probability that anyone on one has no idea where they’re going and could stop dead at any moment. Stay on constant high alert.

6. Doing a spin class doesn’t make you a cyclist.

The thrill of riding out in the wild can never be replicated by going hell for leather in some cramped, sweaty box. Outdoors, you also generally don’t have some instructor constantly barking at you to ‘crank it up’.

7. Remember that your flatmates might not be fans of your bike

As much as your bike is your pride and joy, to others in your flat, it’s just a nuisance that they snag their clothes on when navigating the hallway. Best keep your plans for that second bike on ice or you could be looking for a new place to live quicker than you can say ‘spare room’.

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