‘I work in Canary Wharf. I never see the sun. ’
‘No, I don’t like drinks that taste like candles.’
‘If you were £4, I’d buy you.’
‘In the holidays I try to shrink down from bovine to human. It’s not fair otherwise.’
‘Shall I just wipe you down with a green-tea towelette?’
‘I’ve Febrezedmy hair!’
‘I ended up drinking heavily and bingeing on Elton John.’
‘My hoover has become politicised.’
‘I’m so bougie I won’t eat any potato cakes that aren’t Warburtons.’
‘I can’t wait for you to meet him… but never speak of his penis.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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