‘I don’t need the flu jab, I’ve already had candle wax put in my ear this year.’
‘Bras are just like umbrellas for boobs.’
‘You all right? You sound like you’re full of snot and trapped in a box.’
‘Character building? I have enough character. I just want my own bathroom.’
‘I’ve applied for every volunteer job imaginable. I’d even wipe Diana Ross’s arse if it meant I could go to Glastonbury.’
‘I used to have to go home from a night out if I got hiccups.’
‘As you know, I’m always packing halloumi.’
‘You need to be careful with electricians. “Bare wires” can mean anything these days.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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