Here’s a handy guide to why your neighbourhood’s the worst from our 2019 comedy special
N20: You are essentially just one big Waitrose.
NW1: Okay, two pretty good parks and the Jewish Museum. But have you seen Camden High Street? It’s a mausoleum of Banksy tat populated entirely by teenage tourists.
CR0: Stormzy lived here once, you bleat on repeat. Stormzy! Yes, but that doesn’t make Croydon any less shit.
SE15: You saw what E8 had done with the place, and you said ‘Hold my beer.’
E8: You wanted a ‘vibrant’ area, but you also wanted a Pret. You think Broadway Market is a ‘real’ market, and can’t understand why Ridley Road is so noisy. I hope you choke on your smashed avocado toast.
E17: Islington rents were too high, so you upped sticks to E17. You pretend you’ve got both nature and culture (Walthamstow Wetlands! God’s Own Junk Yard!) but really you’re fuming in the William Morris Gallery café, wishing you were in Angel.
Sophie Duker: ‘Venus’, Soho Theatre. Tube: Tottenham Court Rd. Oct 29-Nov 2.
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