The Curtains Up

such a lovely restaurant!!

Great pub feel, good wines and tasty food. Not your local boozer.

Lovely decor and food is delicious. Will be back

Great food great decor

lovely atmosphere.

Cool, relaxed vibe - Awesome interior and decent food. A definite must

Unfortunately, this is my local pub.

SERVICE: I have never, ever seen service as poor as at the Curtains Up. The staff are rotating every couple of months, all of them are without any type of experience, and none are trained for the job at all before they are on the bar. I'm not talking about making me a shandy when I ask for a top, which happens regularly. I swear to you I have seen a gentleman order a large whiskey on the rocks at this pub and it was served to him in a pint glass. Truly, astoundingly, shockingly poor service by completely incompetent, unmotivated, and unhelpful staff. This is one incident of a dozen I could bore you with.

MANAGEMENT: The poor service goes right to the top. Management is lazy and unaccomdating. I was in there Oct 4th watching United vs. Arsenal. In the 55th minute, the management turned off one of the biggest football games of the year and put on Argentina vs. Tonga (no I am not joking) on BOTH screens. When I asked him to put the football back on one of the screens, he refused because, "It's the World Cup." Yeah, but there are two screens...and five people watching the football compared to 3 old non-sports fans who I have never seen in here before watching the rugby. He didn't care. Everyone who was watching the football left immediately. I now suffer the dingy Famous 3 Kings every match day instead.

FOOD: Full disclosure, I have not eaten here, because there are no vegetarian options whatsoever. That being said, it's one of those horrid, over-priced menus pretending it's a Michelin dining experience from the continent. Even the font of the menu betrays that it is over-reaching its mandate as a pub. Want a burger or fish and chips? Sorry mate, pay £15 for this fillet mignon with cranberry-wine gravy instead.

DRINKS: The selection of drinks is limited, with a particularly noticeable lack of any decent ale offering. Also, the drinks are priced for Sloane Square, not West Kensington. Nothing about this pub commands high prices, except that...

CLIENTELE:...the clientele are some of the most boring, middle-aged professionals who can afford to over-pay for their Estrella. Don't get me wrong, I make bank, and would have no problem affording the pricing, but there is nothing about this place that justifies it. You also get the occasional toff (viz. w*nk*r) caught on the wrong side of Earls Court, or worse, intolerable nouveau-riche Queens Club members who make sure to work up a good sweat before standing next to you at the bar. There are no attractive women in here ever, and they're all the type to ask what you do for a living as their first question. If you like being surrounded by self-congratulatory basics who know as little about value as they do about elegance, this pub is perfect for you. Also, there is a 'band' of the most egocentric, inconsiderate, untalented wannabe-gypsies who take over the entire pub every Saturday around lunchtime for their practice. It's terrible viola accompanied by an accordion and a tamberine. It's basically kindergarten music class except it's old people who should know better. If I didn't have a full understanding of how incompetent management is, then it would shock me that they are allowed to ruin the pub for everyone else every. single. weekend. I understand you need to practice, but please do it where no one else is compelled to either listen to you or leave half their pint behind (it's so painful to listen to, you can't even finish your drink before the urge to leave becomes irresistible). You make everyone from Outkast to Chopin turn in their graves with your ear-covering drivel.

SETTING: There is no real outdoor area. There are a couple metal red chairs placed on the pavement if you want to sit next to a street and watch cars go by. Every Monday and Thursday you'll also have the pleasure of viewing the piles of trash that people dump outside their door, and within spitting distance of the pub. Inside, there are two good tables. A comfortable sofa and arm-chair on the right hand side as you walk in, and a table with a semi-circular couch hidden around to the left of the bar. Somehow, this pub is usually busy, so you won't have the choice very often. Otherwise it's wooden barstools, wooden chairs, wooden high chairs, wood wood wood and not a cushion in sight.

In summary, this pub is the worst and I hope they go out of business so that someone can actually make a proper business on their site. Unfortunately, it would appear as if my neighbours are content with the above and are keeping them in business, probably because there is such a huge dirth of *any* decent pub/bar options in West Ken/Barons Court that this veneer of class blinds everyone by virtue of the lack of local alternatives. Nevertheless, I hold out hope that an act of God will smite the Curtains Up from the face of the earth so that a proper pub can be made in its place. Please Jesus, save me.