Christmas isn’t just for kids: come the festive season, London’s fringes fill up with adult pantomimes that are strictly 18-plus.
We’ve gathered them together here – plus also a selection of other shows running over the Christmas period that are aimed at adults but chime with the seasonal vibes, either in terms of being overtly Christmassy or simply offering a good times night out that chimes with the general vibes of the ‘party’ season. Obviously there’s lots of theatre running over Christmas that isn’t very Christmassy, but this list ignores regular plays and musicals and focusses on cabaret-style entertainments and – for want of a better term – shows you might go on a big Christmas night out to.
If you’re dicing with Santa’s naughty list this Christmas – this one’s for you!
RECOMMENDED: Find more Christmas shows in London
What is it? Adult panto supremos He’s Behind You! eturn to the Charing Cross Theatre for another year, this time with a ribald spin on Beauty and the Beast. This version is set in the wintry Scottish village of Lickmanochers, where pampered mummy’s boy Bertie finds himself imprisoned in the castle of a luxuriently hairy aristocrat. Matthew Baldwin will once again star as the dame in a show that’s strictly for over-18s only.
Where is it? Charing Cross Theatre.
What is it? In a year that’s been weirdly high on eccenntric stage adaptations of Bram Stoker’s immortal vampire yarn, here’s Dracapella, a farcical retelling of the story of the undead count and his Victorian victims. Directed by Park Theatre boss Jez Bond and co-written by him and Dan Patterson, it’s a goofy spin on Stoker’s plot that for whatever reason includes a cappella renditions of classic rock hits – we’re promised ‘Somebody to Love’ and ‘Eye of the Tiger’.
Where is it? Park Theatre.
What is it? As alternative Christmas show go… this is pretty damn alternative. Felix Grainger and Gabriel Fogarty-Graveson’s comedy is a rewriting of the medieval myth of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, only this version is set at an office Christmas party, at which jobsworth middle manager Gawain attempts to eject a gatecrashing knight in an effort to wow his boss Arthur.
Where is it? Park Theatre.
What is it? The Lost Estate’s long-running seasonal show The Great Christmas Feast plunges visitors into Victorian London on Christmas Eve 1843, into the heart of Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol. For the hefty ticket prices you’ll be treated to a performance of the tale, which combines theatre and music, and served up a three-course Victorian feasting menu (think confit duck, terrine and plum pudding ice cream).
Where is it? The Lost Estate.
What is it? The RVT continues to do an impressive job of coming up with terse new names for its adult panto spin on classic pantomime plots. Following Wolfed, Tossed, Cracked, Pricked, Slipped, Rubbed and Goosed, here comes Growled, which is an X-rated take on Beauty and the Beast. In fact the panto s more accurately a sequel to the beloved fairystory, and follows what happens to Belle and the Prince when they attempt to settle down happily ever after.
Where is it? Royal Vauxhall Tavern.
What is it? What’s more Christmassy than visiting Santa’s grotto? Going for a pint or two with the man in red in his favourite boozer, of course. Humbug, an immersive Christmas dive bar, allows you to do just that – and join Mr Claus in rounds of games, sing-a-longs, live performances, storytelling and more. It’s all threaded together with a mission to cheer a weary Santa up and help him rekindle his Christmas spirit.
Where is it? The Vaults, Waterloo.
What is it? Last year’s inaugural King’s Head Panto was a nice new addition to London’s festive ‘scene’, and clearly went well enough that it’s back for more. It’s once again masterminded by Andrew Pollard – formerly of the Greenwich panto – who will write and direct, and it will again have a sprinkling of adults-only performances throughout the run with guesting cabaret stars (for the love of god check the schedule before booking).
Where is it? King’s Head Theatre.
What is it? The Other Palace’s adults only Christmas show returns, and this year’s it’s a musical parody of that most parody-able of Chrisrtmas flicks, Richard Curtis’s festive anthology Love Actually. Exactly what the set up is is TBC, but let's be honest the whole thing has long been ripe for parody and it sounds like a hardworking cast of four is to be tasked with sending most of it up.
Where is it? The Other Palace.
What is it? This lavish seasonal dinner show from immersive company Secret Theatre offers an ‘outrageous’ banquet combined with five explorable rooms and music, performance and dance that tell something approximate to the story of Tchaichovsky’s immortal seasonal favouite ballet The Nutcracker. Tickets start at ‘just’ £48 for bar seats, but if you actually want to eat you’re looking at £180-plus.
Where is it? Protein Studios.
What is it? Join Cinderella, Prince Donkey Dick, Buttons and the Two Ugly Slappers as the latest charming adult panto outing from the gang behind long-running Snow White and the Seven Poofs. Expect a mixture of eye-wateringly rude humour and feel good party anthems.
Where is it? Scala.
What is it? This new Islington panto which offers a spin on The Wizard of Oz with a cast stacked with queer nightlife stars, including drag performer Crayola the Queen. Plus we’re promised a very special pre-recorded celebrity as the Wizard of Oz-lington. As with the King’s Head panto, The Wicked Witches will be divided into standard family peformances and a smaller number of adults only evening ones – be careful to check which you’re booking for before you book.
Where is it? Pleasance Theatre.
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