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Given that Stephen Sondheim has declared his one-off 1965 collaboration with Richard Rodgers the biggest regret of his career, it’s hard not to question the fundamental thinking behind this limp, lacklustre revival.
The main problem is the story, which is so lightweight we suspect a strong fart would be enough to sweep the entire cast off stage. Our leading lady is Leona (played by Rebecca Seale), a New York secretary who falls for a schmucky Italian shopkeeper, played by Philip Lee with all the authenticity of one of those puppets from the Dolmio TV ads.
The songs, meanwhile, are as safe as a Michael McIntyre stand-up set, running the microscopic comedic gamut between the ballache of air travel and casual xenophobia.
Technically, it’s fine – the cast sing well without artificial amplification and there are a couple of strong performances, notably from Rosie Strobel as predatory hotel owner Fioria. But – like forming a Beatles tribute band and only ever playing ‘Yellow Submarine’ – it’s an exercise that was doomed from the start. At a time when so much musical theatre is so smart and self-aware, it’s hard to imagine anyone being charmed by the bland characters and overbearing schmaltz of ‘Do I Hear a Waltz?’.