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If the smell of price-hiked roses coming from Sainsbury’s on February 14 makes you sick, head down to The Royal Vauxhall Tavern’s pleasingly cynical V-Day ball. Enter the damaged-goods tombola and get your best screamo ‘Since U Been Gone’ voice ready for the drunk power ballad singalong, before dancing till you drop at the broken-hearted disco, plus more cabaret, drag, games and surprises.