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Sea City

Fri Feb 15, 8.30-9pm, BBC2

When ‘Airport’s’ Jeremy Spake and Maureen from ‘Driving School’ ruled the airwaves, this sort of drab docusoap was watched by millions. But that was back in the late ’90s. These days, it’s hard to figure out who would watch a series about the Port of Southampton, in spite of excitable claims that it’s ‘the gateway to the world’ and ‘fighting to keep the nation afloat’.

Tonight’s opener features someone who parks expensive cars on-board ship, the cheerful resident reverend and – hold on to your hats – a royal visit. Yes, Princess Anne arrives to inspect the P&O fleet, causing all manner of disruption to holiday-makers, port employees and events managers concerned about how to transport a cake on to a ship. In a word: becalmed.