Children in Need Rocks

Does Children in Need rock? Well, it raises money to provide practical help for suffering kids, so of course it does. But does ‘Children in Need Rocks’ rock? An equally easy question to answer. No, it emphatically doesn’t. Look at this dog’s breakfast of a line-up. Gary Barlow, Ellie Goulding, Tom Odell, Bastille and the Wanted? Barry Manilow, the Lumineers, Robbie Williams, Passenger and Little Mix? Bloody hell.

Even Dizzee Rascal, who occasionally provided moments of succour at events such as these, has become almost unwatchable. We hope ‘CIN’ raises a ton of money for its various incredibly worthy causes. But this is strictly for the masochists.