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There’s Something About Susan

Thu Dec 12, 9-10pm, ITV

The title is almost meaningless, of course. Why not ‘Susan, Queen of Scots’, or ‘Bloody Susan’? Or, even better, ‘How Do You Solve a Problem Like Susan?’, with ITV trying to figure out how to inject new life into yesterday’s news, even as a brave and admirably frank recent interview about her Asperger's thrusts La Boyle (for it is she) back into the headlines.

This one-off is devoted to the runner-up in 2009's 'Britain's Got Talent', and her travails during her first solo tour, undertaken earlier this year across Scotland. The ‘tension’, we're told, comes from two sources: will her nerves hold up under the stresses and strains of touring? And will it be successful enough to secure her a world tour? A quick Google should answer those questions (as well as raising another one – don’t you have anything better to do?).

No previews were available but, on the fairly safe assumption that ‘There’s Something About Susan’ doesn’t document her headlong plunge into the seamier side of life on the road, it’s hard to conceive a more tedious hour of television this year.