Grill Em All (CLOSED)

Alhambra’s metal-themed, meat-slinging burger shop doesn’t serve a single patty that’s not obscenely dressed. There’s the Dee Snider, smothered in peanut butt, jam, bacon and sriracha; and the Exciter, made with duck confit, frise, herb goat cheese and cranberry gastrique. But the Napalm Death ($12) tops them all: a medium-rare, half-pound patty drenched in gooey pepperjack, pickled jalapeños and cream cheese, topped off with fried jalapeño poppers and habanero aioli. It’s what we’ll dine on when the valkyries carry us over the rainbow bridge to Valhalla (which may be because it kills us as we’re eating it).